


to have loved and lost

by exarite



Category: Naruto
Genre: Canonical Character Death, Grief/Mourning, M/M, Unreliable Narrator
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-03-04
Updated: 2018-03-04
Packaged: 2019-03-26 14:11:33
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,617
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/13859391
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/exarite/pseuds/exarite
Summary: It's been two weeks since Tobirama-sama has died, and it's been two weeks since Kagami has smiled or laughed.It's Danzo's turn to take care of him tonight.





	to have loved and lost

**Author's Note:**

  * Inspired by [Waiting on a Wire](https://archiveofourown.org/works/10768743) by [mirrorless](https://archiveofourown.org/users/mirrorless/pseuds/mirrorless). 



"Who's gonna do it this time?" Koharu asked quietly. The four of them looked at each other before their gazes automatically shifted to Torifu. Torifu stilled, chewing on the barbeque stick for a moment before he swallowed and shook his head. 

"I can't, I'm on guard duty for Saru soon."

The past few days, Torifu was usually the one who did it, but all of them have done it too. Even Saru with his new position as Hokage had taken the time. But now…

"I'll do it," Danzo said. It was his turn, technically. Homura sighed in relief and pushed up his glasses. Koharu gave him an apologetic wince and Danzo accepted it with grace.

It's been two weeks since Tobirama-sama has died, and it's been two weeks since Kagami has smiled or laughed. All of them were devastated after their Hokage, their _teacher_ had sacrificed himself to get them back home, but they had a duty. War was brewing, and so the 6 of them picked themselves back up and kept going. There was nothing else to be done.

Saru had thrown himself into his duties as the Sandaime, and the rest of them had done their own parts. Koharu, Homura and him as Saru's newly appointed advisors and Torifu and Kagami in ANBU.

Kagami shows up and does his job just fine on the days that he has to, as competent and talented as ever. But on the days he wasn't on duty, Kagami was not quite there. There was a lost look in his eyes, a stubborn set to his jaw, and even his hair was wilder than normal. He wasn't quite the same.

And so that brought Danzo where he was now, on the very border of shinobi and civilian land, in some no name, sketchy bar that should really be checked for its sanitation. He made his way inside, body tense and his jaw set at the eyes that followed him.

As usual, Kagami was hunched over the bar, a bottle of alcohol in front of him. Danzo gritted his teeth and stalked towards his teammate.

"Kagami," Danzo said roughly and shook his shoulder. Kagami turned his head and blinked up at him blearily, his eye flashing into the Sharingan before it bled back into its usual onyx. 

"Danzo," Kagami slurred. There was a suspicious wetness to his eyes and a dangerous flush to his cheeks. The hardness of Danzo's features softened, just for a bit. He and Kagami have been teammates for so long, and despite Danzo's annoyance at Kagami's current behavior, he did care about the other man. 

"Time to go home," Danzo said stiffly and Kagami nodded, his head droopy, almost as if he couldn't quite support himself. Danzo bit back a sigh and leaned in to wrap Kagami's arm his shoulder. Kagami leaned into him, stumbling slightly, but Danzo easily supported him.

Their walk back to the Uchiha compound was quiet, broken only by the labored sounds of Kagami's breathing. Danzo let himself think about the budget forms that had just come in, wondering if he should come back to the Hokage tower to get it finished.

Halfway there, Kagami spoke up. 

"I loved him, you know," he murmured, and it took a moment for Danzo to understand what he said with Kagami's words running and slurring together. It took another moment for him to catch on to just who Kagami was talking about.

He didn't quite know what to say and so he stayed quiet. He couldn't lie, he wasn't surprised. He had suspected it for a while now. No one could miss the adoration in the young Uchiha's eyes, or the all-encompassing admiration he had for their Hokage, and Danzo couldn't blame him. Senju Tobirama was truly a genius, and his high regard meant much for Kagami, especially with how his own clan treated him. Kagami wouldn't say it, of course, but Danzo and Torifu had noticed how the rest of the Uchiha viewed him with barely hidden disdain.

That wasn't even considering the caring and concern Tobirama had for Kagami or his blatant favoritism of Danzo's teammate over any other Uchiha. Tobirama had a soft spot for the man, and Danzo suspected that maybe Kagami's feelings weren't as unrequited as he thought it was.

Danzo's confirmation of Kagami's feelings though had come much earlier, even before tonight.

Just minutes after they had left Tobirama behind to deal with the Kinkaku Squad, Danzo had noticed the way Kagami's chakra flared erratically, only to be tightly controlled only moments after. 

It was Torifu who noticed and pointed out the blood trickling out of Kagami's eye, and the strange shape his Sharingan had taken. The Mangekyou, Danzo recognized, and Danzo's blood had run cold. Tobirama had warned them about it, had told them it was dangerous and a sign of the Uchiha's curse of hatred taking greater root. To think that it was his death that had caused such a horrendous evolution of Kagami's own Sharingan. Danzo wasn't sure how Tobirama would have reacted.

"I wouldn't have--I wouldn't have suggested it if I had known…" Kagami's voice cracked and he stopped talking, a pained sound escaping his lips. Danzo squeezed his arm gently in the form of comfort that he could offer.

"It's what had to be done," he replied solemnly. He was still a little angry at himself that he hadn't volunteered as quickly as Saru had. He wondered, but he didn't dare ask who Kagami would have rather acted as the decoy instead of Tobirama.

"I loved him," Kagami repeated, so broken and raw that even Danzo's own heart hurt slightly at his friend's pain. 

All too soon, they were on the very edge of the Uchiha compound, in front of Kagami's house and Danzo was struck by the eerie quality of it. Kagami's house had been set apart from the rest of the Uchiha for awhile, the blatant snob obvious to everyone who knew how the Uchiha, or how clans in general worked.

"Your wife?" Danzo asked and Kagami's lips twisted bitterly.

"Not here."

Danzo didn't push. If Kagami was hard for their team to deal with, he could only imagine how it must be for his wife. His wife, who he didn't love and who didn't love him either. Danzo knew she was with child, and that's all that seemed to matter--the propagation of Kagami's genes and the Sharingan.

They made their way inside, Kagami handing him his keys, and Danzo quickly brought his friend over to his bedroom. He set him down on the futon and stood up, ready to get him water for the next day and then leave.

Kagami hiccupped quietly and Danzo turned his head, stiffening slightly at the tears that were starting to make its way down his cheeks.

"Kagami," he said quietly. Gently. So unlike him. He wasn't a monster, he cared for Kagami, he did.

"He was all I had… I have nothing now. Nothing."

"You have us," Danzo said awkwardly and Kagami's lips curled into a facsimile of a smile. 

"And Konoha," Kagami amended. The village that Tobirama had loved and died for. And so Kagami would love and die for it too.

"Your clan," Danzo added, hesitating just for a bit, and Kagami barked out a surprised burst of angry laughter.

"My clan!" he repeated. He looked away from Danzo and looked up at the ceiling. There was a fire to his gaze, bright and painful like the Katon the Uchiha favored, and Danzo felt like he was burnt by it.

"I know what they call me behind my back," Kagami said, a disdainful twist to his lips. "They call me blood traitor. Senju lover. Tobirama-sama's pet Uchiha." He laughed, a self-depreciating jagged sound that made Danzo tense.

"I am honored," Kagami bit out. "I was not worthy to be in Tobirama's circle, part of his personal guard and… I still failed him. We all failed him."

"It was his choice. It's what had to be done." Danzo feels like a broken record. He had already said this, hadn't he? But Kagami wasn't listening, as lost in grief as he was. Danzo eyed him with renewed eyes. Tobirama had told them how the Uchiha loved fiercely, and it was this fierce love that made them strong. And yet 

An Uchiha that had loved and lost was dangerous.

Danzo swallowed.

Silently, he watched as Kagami slowly fell asleep and succumbed to the alcohol. He… he couldn't believe that he was even thinking of this, but what was there to do? He clenched his fists. He gave Kagami's sleeping features one last look before he stood up. He left his friend, his teammate, behind, thoughts and plans brewing in his mind.

He felt sick just thinking about it, but Danzo resolutely pushed it down. He had a duty to Konoha, and if it meant doing unsavory things, he would do it. He would be the roots supporting the great tree from the darkness, and he would keep Konoha strong.

He had to do what had to be done. This is what Tobirama would want him to do. Tobirama had always praised Kagami for his loyalty, yet now Kagami's loyalties lay with a dead man. Danzo was sure that Tobirama would approve of this precaution. He wouldn't want his trusted friend to slowly turn into a man he didn't recognize.

He watched and he waited, and as soon as the chance came up, he requested a mission with Kagami from Saru.

Danzo came back alone, Kagami's Sharingan in his eye and Kagami's body in his arms. Kagami couldn't be trusted with the Mangekyou's power.

Nobody could.

**Author's Note:**

> Three things to think about!! Danzo is an unreliable narrator, Kagami is grieving and upset, and Tobirama's death is recent and still raw. I'd like to believe that he would have eventually risen from his grief and continued to serve Konoha and his new Hokage with renewed passion, because his will of fire was strong, even if Tobirama was dead.
> 
> Kishi's timelines are shit, but it can be taken that Hiruzen became Hokage around 24~, and Kagami died at 25, so this isn't that implausible. I support the HC that Danzo's first Sharingan is from Kagami.
> 
> Anyway, this is based on mirrorless' Waiting on a Wire, which you should definitely read.


End file.
